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What my 3 year old can teach you about negotiating

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by: Megan Weis
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Word Count: 463




Children are good negotiators. They know that 'no' means 'maybe', do not give up without a fight, and ask for more than they want.


They do not take "No" for an answer


Kids demand to know "Why". My daughter knows that if she can move past the usual "Because I said so", then she stands a good chance of overcoming my objection. The adult equivalent words in the sales negotiation context are, "Tell me about your concerns." This phrase opens the door to frank communication and has the ability to get past the answer “No”.


They are persistent and creative


A rejection merely whets their creativity. When told “No” they will often push themselves to come up with new and creative ways as to why you should reconsider. They are not afraid to ask for what they want 100 times and realize that the worst that’s going to happen is to be told “No” for the 101st time.


They ask "What if" questions


Since kids hear “no” as “maybe”, they delight in the opportunity to convert a “no” to a “yes”. As an example, a child knows that if she says “what if I were to eat the rest of my carrots, then could I have some ice cream?” that she is likely to win over any objectors. While it would annoy a buyer if we were to continually ask ‘why’, we refine it to the “What if” question to reach the same result. For example, “What if we were to include free hours of one on one coaching? Would that seal the deal?”


They do not use tentative language


They are direct and to the point. They know what they want and they demand it. As an example, my daughter usually follows her request with an affirmative “yes”. Confidence precedes the sale. Children use optimistic terms and avoid tentative language that might invite denial.


Their enthusiasm pumps up the customer


As a parent, I know it’s hard to say “no” to a child who’s excited about something. This past Christmas my daughter wanted a baby doll from Santa. Every time she saw anything that remotely resembled Santa Claus, she would shout out “Santa, baby doll!”. It’s hard to argue with that kind of excitement. If a sales professional is not enthusiastic, it tells the customer that there is no compelling reason to buy their product.


They use High Initial Demands to their advantage


Kids know that if they ask for the moon, they might just get the stars. My daughter, at the age of three, already knows that if she asks for a whole bag of gummy bears, then she might just get a handful. If she asks for one, she’s sure to get no more that what she’s asked for.


What have your children taught you about the art of negotiation?

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